How To Properly Kidnap A Hyuuga Heiress
by irlsasori
Summary: [DeiHina] I swear, every noble in existence is a total and utter prick- Deidara must successfully kidnap the Hyuuga heiress for her eyes, and it's not exactly 'easy'. Good thing he bought a step-by-step guide. Not. And, what's worse, he's pretty sure she hates him. [Bad summary, some-what good story :)] ON HIATUS FOR NOW
1. Chapter 1

**How to Properly Kidnap A Hyuuga Heiress**

Step 1: Locate Target & Stealthily Retrieve

"Hinata?" "Yes, Kurenai-sensei?" "Could you please hand me that kunai?" "Hai, Kurenai-sensei."

_Dear God, they're so boring, I might blow out my own brains. _Thought a long-haired, blonde kid, around the age of seventeen. Yeah, that kid's me. I'm Deidara of the Akatsuki. I've got the dumbass cloak to prove it. I'm also a dude. Yes, I'm positive I'm 100% of the male gender, and, no, I will _not _let you check.

I think I look fairly decent for a criminal. I mean, not to brag, or anything, but I'm not some emo who thinks I look hideous, when in reality, I don't. I look good, not great, not terrible, good. Some boarder-line stuff here, people!

I have blue eyes, and long blonde hair that I keep half in a pony tail, and the other half hanging loose, and covering one eye. No, just because I have long hair does_ not_ mean I'm a chick. Noticed I have problems with gender-confused fuckers who don't know a guy from a toad? Yeah.

Anyways, I've been sitting in on this conversation for about five minutes now. Looks like the Hyuuga isn't too talkative; every time this 'Kurenai-sensei' takes a shot at a conversation, the girl just shoots her down with a short-worded answer. I swear, every noble in existence is a total and utter prick.

Why am I listening to this stupid exchanging of words? It's my mission. Well, kidnapping the Hyuuga heiress is my mission, and this is my plan.

Okay, so, how it goes is I wait until the dog-boy and the heiress switch watches, but before she activates that baykugan, I'll strike!

The reason why my partner, Sasori no Danna, is not here with me, helping me on this mission is because his last fight almost killed him, or something of the sort. I think he's a puppet now, but at this point, I've just lost interest, and track. As you can see, I have a rather short attention span.

I don't know why they didn't just give me a replacement partner, or something, but I guess I should be grateful. I mean, at least they didn't stick me with Tobi, right? I swear to Kami, I might just _kill _that idiot.

Suddenly, the dog-boy comes up to the pair, jarring me from my thoughts.

They look like they're talking, but I can only catch a few words. Come one, douche bag, leave the Hyuuga so I can fight her one on one! Go on, now, shoo! It doesn't look like she even _wants _to talk to you, anyways, buddy!

Then I notice something's wrong.

From where I sit in the tree, I can see the boy clearly, but the girls face isn't in my view. She looks relaxed, like she's having a good conversation with an old friend, possibly something more, and her shoulders are slumped. Nothing's wrong about the picture but one thing. Her hand twitched her kunai pouch.

I've been detected, spotted, my cover's blown, the protocol's been breached! Breached, I say, _breached_!

And, so, like any talented shinobi, I gracefully leap onto the ground.

And, by "gracefully leap onto the ground", I mean stand up, realize my legs are numb, and fall to my doom of ten feet face-first. Oh, joy!

So, I land on my face in an awkward human circle, and I can feel my feet lightly graze my head. For some reason, I don't think this is natural. I groan in pain and sheer embarrassment. I'm a S-rank criminal, for Kami's sake, I should be able to land from a ten-foot fall with ease!

I can feel their eyes on me, probably trying not to laugh. I bet I look really stupid right about now. Actually, there is a deep chuckle from what I assume is the brown-haired kid. Well, in all honestly, I _hope _it's the dude, because I don't really want to be on a twelve day* trip to the Land of Rain with some chick that laughs like a guy.

Anyways, I growl in displeasure as I jump up. I have no problem with blowing him to bits for laughing at my little mishap. That jerk's rolling around on the floor! I reach into my clay pouch with a smirk, until I find that it's missing. "Where the hell is it?!" I go frantic looking for it, hands and knees, even, until I remember my situation.

The Inuzuka is _still_ cracking up, and the raven turned, and is now looking at my like a doe in headlights. "A-ano... Aka-Akatsuki-san, but when d-do we start fighting?" She asked me, her voice small.

Kami, this is _so _awkward.

"Now!" I shout, jumping up. "But I don't have my fucking clay for _some _reason, so you're just going to have to come willingly!" I finished, and immediately regret it. I just gave them a leg up, letting them know I'm vulnerable.

"No wa-" Said a _still_ laughing boy (seriously, how the hell can you laugh _that_ long?) before I spotted my pouch in the tree, jumped up to grab it, grabbed the struggling girl, threw a pre-made clay bird at the boy and horrible senseis' way, and ran off after activating the bomb, with the girl staring wide-eyed and screaming what I assume are her teammates names. She shouts, but one name I never saw. Shock factor always steals the show when it came to explosions, and that was pretty surprising, I guess.

Because I had to blow up the scene so quickly, we got slightly injured, some scratches here, a few burn marks there, but I think we'll be fine. I grabbed the Hyuuga's wrists while shock still etched itself on her face, and tied them with a chakra restricting, steel rope of sorts.

She struggled, and almost broke free, but a hard-enough hit to the head settled her down. To the ground.

Kami, this is bullshit.


	2. HIATUS

**HIATUS NOTICE:**

**Hi, guys. I'm sorry to say, but I'm putting this story on a TEMPORARY hiatus. I'm doing this so whenever I do get back to updating this story, I'll only be updating it, and that will be a lot easier, for me. So, I'll only be updating/writing one story at a time, instead of four. The order of which I'll finish first goes:**

**_Barb Wire_- DeiHina (This is a story I'm adding today)  
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**_How to Properly Kidnap a Hyuuga Heiress_- Deihina (lol DeiHina's my OPT xD)**

**_Battle Scars_- SasuHina GaaHina (readers will get to choose which pairing is final in the end)**

**_From 'Criminal' to 'Kitty' in 5 Seconds_- Aka-kitties story**

**_Dancing in The Rain_- SasoHina**

**Sorry if you don't like this order, but that's how it's going to go! I will be posting one-shots for SasuHina month/week, though!**

** To get more information, contact me regularly, and to get update's on how close I am to finishing these stories, please visit my tumblr, ILoveRedbull14 **

**Thank you.**

**Smile for me, Lilly**


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